I’ve been confronted many times, confronted by myself, confronted by others. Maybe even more by myself than others. It was my personal demon attacking me, my subconscious not giving me peace. Others just couldn’t get it and they still can’t. Before you start asking yourself ‘what the hell is he about?’ let me clarify. I’m talking about being by yourself. Alone, lost, not talking with another human being for at least 2 or 3 days. Some will say ‘that’s not normal’ and others will say, 2-3 days!? I can do it for months’.
I was both blessed and cursed to experience both sides of the story. I know some people who could spend days alone; and I was judging them. But was it me judging them or was it my insecurities judging them? Was I falling in the trap of society? Society that is so ready to judge anything different from the mainstream.
A few years later I went for a 3 day surf trip, completely by myself. The plan was to sleep in the car, be very mobile and surf as much as I can. This wasn’t my first trip of this kind, I had done it many times before. But it was different this time. It crossed into routine. I felt great, everything was in its place. So it made me wonder: why do I feel so good this time? I slept excellent on an uncomfortable car seat, surfed well, read around 200 pages from 3 books…
So I came to the conclusion that you can be by yourself only if you’re super happy with yourself. Because when you’re by yourself you’re the only thing you’ve got! Your mind takes control; TV, friends, boss and everything else is not here to shut you up. Your deepest mind becomes your boss. So if you and your deepest mind are not best friends you have problems, big problems! It made me realise how special the people are who can spend days without talking to another human. It is a skill so valuable that it’s hard to describe.
Always looking for something or someone to fill in the gaps is hard. It stops us in being creative, it stops us in fulfilling our full potential. ‘I’ll do it if you do it with me’ is probably one of the greatest adventure killers in the world. ‘I’ll go if 4 of us will go’. Then 2 can’t go and the idea dies. Pathetic.
Soloing around saved my life, literally. If I wasn’t soloing around I would have never seen the Andes, surf as I surf now, experienced Morocco the way I’ve experienced it, climbed Cradle Mountain in Tasmania or discovered incredible places in South Australia. These were valuable lessons that taught me one thing that drives me hard today: if you want something done, the fastest way to do it is by doing it yourself.